Well it has been a long, long while since I've posted anything. Those who follow me on Facebook know that my life has been somewhat crazy these days! I love it, every little bit of the craziness that reminds me I'm alive, I have a life, and I'm living.

At the beginning of this month Ryan phoned me from work, I knew something awful had happen as Ryan tried to tell me what was wrong through sobs. Our close friend Fig (Jordan) had been killed that morning in a tragic accident. Right away I went into denial mode, I was sympathetic to Ryan but didn't ask any questions and hung up the phone. Having a client here at that time I held it together. After all my clients had left, I took the phone down to my room, phoned Ryan and let the flood gates open.
We sobbed together, and then decided that Ryan and the guys would come home for the rest of the day. Being distracted at work could be dangerous, and they all knew they would get no work done.
I felt like my heart had been ripped out, the hurt was incredible, but despite what I was feeling I didn't feel like it was real. I kept hoping that someone would call that it he was just in intensive care - how could he be gone? Not Fig, everyone loves him, he is one of the greatest friends you could ever have, I just saw him!!

Ryan and the guys picked me up, my Mum offered to watch the boys and we all went over to Brianne and Fig's house. I held the tears as best I could but as soon as I saw Brianne they started pouring. She was calm, she hugged me and said, "He was a good guy." I felt like I was mourning for her, as she was not -- she looked like she had been crying, but she was so calm and here I was a blubbering mess.
I hugged Fig's parents, and went outside to be with our friends. We all huddled on the patio going from person to person hugging and crying, and talking about Fig. The ache was so strong, I could feel it all over my body and I wanted to gasp for some air.

When it came time for the family to go to the hospital to identify the body, and gather his belongings we had to leave to be with the boys. Jesse came with us, but went back later and said that everyone was much worse coming back from the hospital. We were allowed to go as well, but I wanted to remember Jordan as he was -not what he had become.
The next few days were dazed, a lot of crying, a lot of spending time with friends. I had to work that weekend and it was probably the worst work weekend of my life - I feel horrible for everyone I did a session for as I was so out of it.

A celebration of Jordan's life was held at the Grandstand, over 600 people came to celebrate the life of a really amazing son, brother, and friend. We ended up standing as they ran out of seats quickly - it was healing, and heart wrenching. Just when we thought we had run out of tears more came.
It was amazing seeing so many friends from my childhood, people I've become close to over the years, we all felt like a big family going around hugging, sharing...
There was a big table with hundreds of pictures of Fig's life and we were able to go through and take what we wanted. I chose three. One of Brianne and Fig on a mountain - they always traveled together and loved adventure. One of a party we had gone to with people I love, and fig, and one of Fig being goofy with Brianne -- he always made me laugh.

My last memory... my last memory of Fig was at Travis & Marci's goodbye party. He had witness a conversation that left me in tears. Fig was there, and see me walk off -- he came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and said "Hope you're not mad at me" and I said "No way!" He was always so sweet like that, him and Brianne -- the perfect and most fun couple.
We miss him, almost everyday we think about him. We still have Brianne - an amazing woman who lost the love of her life. We love her, so so much - and their families who opened there hearts to all Fig's friends. You all are so amazing.

Ryan and I talked a lot about our friendships after the funeral, and felt that it was really important to spend more time with everyone. So that is what we've been working on - spending more quality time with the people we love!

Life has been kept busy with work, I am amazed and overwhelmed with the amount of shoots I've been offered. I am so appreciative, and blessed with these opportunities and learning and growing while gaining experience. I joined the Photography Club here as well, and that so far has been great!
I'm hoping to upgrade my camera soon as well, I'm drooling over the T1i and the T2i -- haven't decide which one, the T1i is more affordable. Eventually a 7D would be my DREAM... but that dream is over $3,000 away. LOL!!
My goal for the new year is to become more organized, book more shoots, advertise, and MOVE! =D So excited to have a backyard and be done with apartment life!!

The boys are getting big, Rhys started preschool and loves it! I'm not a big fan of the preschool, I thought it would be great but it's not. It's not bad though, and here he stays because it's free and Rhys adores going. I make sure I keep on top of everything so I know what is going on, and the teachers know that I want to know what is going on!!
Keegan is 18 months now, and busy as ever. He is certain that he can do all that Rhys does -- but likes to hold to his own opinions and fun. I love their individuality, yet they love each other so much. Aww.... I love having two boys!

Well life, laundry, cooking, and editing is calling so I'm off!