It's amazing how fast depression can set in when you are sick 24/7 with nothing you can do about it.
Honestly I thought this time around would be different, more joyfull, more fun. It has, but not enough. I've been able to hold my cookies down but other then that things are pretty much the same as they were before.
I want to know why the medication isn't working for me, or maybe it's just not intended to make one feel normal.
I have no desire to eat, to move, to exist... I would care for nothing more then to sleep my days away avoiding the nagging nausea gagging smells, grumbling hunger, and exhaustion.
Sleep is restless and light, I'm so tired... it feels like weeks, even though I know it hasn't been - how much longer??
Is it worth it? Yes, it is... if I had to do this all over again for Rhys I would.
I feel helpless. I want to play with Rhys, cook my husband meals, be able to move about the house doing things - going out for walks.... but I sit here, sick, sick, sick.
Ryan thinks it may take time for my body to get used to the medication, I think I'm as sick as I was with Rhys and the medication working is just taking the edge off so I don't live wrapped around the toilet.
I'm hoping there aren't too many weeks left of this.