Too much. Too much of what I think about, talk about, read about, hear about -- has to do with the painful scars of a past I once lived.

I hear about her - she doesn't want to live anymore, the depression is overwhelming and the struggle to get through each day is exhausting. I know what they are telling her, that's what they told me - and that's what drove me away. I love how people believe they have all the answers, answers to something they've never experienced or have been through. A way of making that person feel like a complete failure, setting standards for them they'll never achieve. When all they need is a hand to hold, and a heart to hear, something to get them through the darkness.

Then I think about him... lying, cheating, and still lying. Cruel. Is he doing that to her? Was I his only victim?

Them... and the lies, digging up false information to satisfy their hunger for unhappiness and disaster. The truth would be to easy.

Maybe it's these un-happy memories from the past that put me in a position to relate to 'them'. To go from a day of perfect love, to a night of utter hurt. How a few moments can crush happiness with detestation.

I once heard that different seasons bring different feelings - and usually that season will repeat the same emotions year after year. For instance, the depression of February is repeated February, after February. Does that make any sense?
I wonder if there is any truth to that. I wonder if the cycles break?
I feel like for me, different seasons bring up the same feelings, year after year. At this moment I wonder if it's maybe a lack of closure??

I know this is a very strange post - I have wandering thoughts in my head. They don't cease.
I used to write a lot. I have notebook after notebook full of my wandering thoughts. I've lost touch with my writings, I think I need to start back up. Get it out. Then maybe my mind could rest a bit!

On another note... I might just feel things too deeply.