The Plunge!!

I'm doing it. I NEED to do this. I could photograph family and friends for forever, but it's time... push myself out that door and except clients that I've never met before, climb the ladder that seems at this moment so very scary.

Why am I wimp? I have no idea! I lack confidence in what I do, I see all the problems with my work, all the glitches, what could be better... I rip each picture apart and *sigh* with a well, it's good... but not great, and definitely not fantastic.

I'm sure all photographers do this - as my mentor says, "we are our worst critiques."

I'm trying to push my frame of mind out of 'not good enough' mode and get some real clients.

Not that you all haven't been real! I'm just in my comfort zone shooting those of you I know, who I've grown up with, who I'm related to...etc...

I've advertised, and the emails have started to come in. I have my first ever family booking.

Let's just say I"M SCARED!! Actually, it's more of a fitful case of nervousness.

I CAN DO THIS.

I tell people I don't like directing, but it is more of me not being very skilled at directing. Something I definitely need to work on.

This is what I want to do, this is what I love, this is my dream and I'm living it!! No-one said the first step of this dream would be easy. I'm pushing my mind forward to five years down the road. Ah... no so scary now. ;)

I'm excited to do this family session - and dreading it. I hope it's great, I hope I can pop out of tunnel vision mode and work my butt off and making it a fabulous session!! If I can do this I know I can do pretty much anything. Hahaha. I know, I'm dramatic.

I had a wonderful phone conversation with an amazing photographer yesterday. Her work is fabulous, so much so she has been offered dream photography jobs in Europe! I was completely surprised when she called, and felt honored that she would take the time to point things out to me, give me helpful tips, and a bit of a crash course on the business side of photography.

I've found not many photographers will take the time to offer advice to an amature photographer.

I've been lucky to have some really good photography friends.

Tonight I plan on taking my sister out for a session, good practice for directing as she is a bit difficult to pose (not in bad way.) It's easier to practice on someone you know.

Ahhh... drifting away from my whirlwind brain storm on photography.

Tomorrow is Ryan F's wedding, looking forward to getting out with Ryan for a good time! I have a shanzy outfit to wear that I'm super excited about. Shows off my hard-work weight loss. tehee

I'm going to go shopping tonight for a clutch, I have WAY too much stuff I carry around with me even without kids! Did you hear that... WITHOUT KIDS!! Love my kids to PIECES but I am REALLY looking forward to being out, alone, with MY LOVER!!

(Yes, I will miss my kids horribly and will probably call fifty times to see if they are missing me. ) LOL!! =D

That being said - I'm off to cuddle my little men and build a fun puzzle feature every car imaginable. =p